Choosing the Right High School

choosing the right high school makes difference

Are you already thinking about high school for your college-bound middle-schooler?

It’s important to start thinking about high school options at least a few years ahead, especially if your teen’s middle school ends at the 8th grade.

What if you don’t have 1-2 years to plan for a school change?

Understanding firsthand just how difficult it can be to choose the right high school for your child is what inspired this post.

Before I move on to tips for choosing the right high school for your child, let’s discuss why you might be considering switching your child’s high school in the first place.

Reasons for changing high schools.

Parents consider changing their teen’s high school for a variety of reasons, including:

  • Disapproval of curriculum at current school
  • Over-testing
  • Relocation
  • Marital separation or divorce
  • Bad social environment for teen
  • Safety concerns
  • Current school closing

Personally, I’ve had to choose different schools for my children for curriculum/testing, safety concerns, social reasons, and relocations. Each time has been different because each grade level is different. Also, my children are quite different from each other.

Regardless of the time parents have to make all the necessary decisions about high school, this one decision (which school your teen attends) is important enough that parents must know their options.

Important choices for parents to make.

These are some of the critical decisions parents will have to make when they’re choosing the right high school for their child:

  • Independent (i.e. private) school—day or boarding
  • Parochial
  • Public school district, including charter
  • Homeschool

Again, given the different personalities of my own children, they have attended day, boarding, and public schools. Plus, I homeschooled… yikes!

Each time my children changed schools, I followed a basic process which included:

  1. School visits
  2. Online research
  3. Personal networking
  4. Considering social dynamics

These four aspects are very important when choosing the right high school for your child.

Here’s how each step of this process can help you choose the right high school for your teen.

Conduct high school visits for and with your teen.

Changing schools can be just as anxiety-ridden for the child as for the parent.

If I’m considering a new school, I generally visit for the first time without my child. This gives me an opportunity to speak with the principal, teachers, and staff one-on-one.

I also observe the condition of the school and notice how students are responding.

When I meet with teachers, I not only ask them about their grade, but their perception of other grade cohorts at the school.

The postings on the wall can say a lot: If there are a lot of signs with directions about behavior, then it may indicate that a school has safety/discipline issues.

I don’t mind waiting in the office; I can see and hear about typical issues there. Sometimes, the office staff isn’t discreet, and I learn a lot from overhearing those interactions.

The other thing I notice is the smells in the school. (It may sound strange but it’s still part of the learning environment.)

As best as possible, I’m trying to get a sense for what the school day would be like for my teen.

I strongly advise parents against the first day of school being the first day that a child sees a new school.

A good opportunity for any child to see a new school is a “shadow” day.

Shadow days are good for any grade level. It allows the child to have the face-to-face experience of visiting a class and getting a better feel for the environment—I only took my child to visit a school if it was a serious consideration.

The campus visits for parents and children is a crucial aspect of the new school search. (Your campus visit is in addition to any open houses held by the school.)

While we’re on the topic, you’ll want to visit this post for tips on surviving college campus visits with your teen.

Save time with online searches.

There is so much information online when it comes to choosing the right high school that it can be hard to know where to start and how to manage.

I love discovering new information but when it comes to searching online, I can waste hours (that I don’t have) reading information on random sites that overwhelm, rather than help.

Here are some online resources that I’ve used to inform my search, which may help you save time:

Bonus tip: Even if you’re not considering a particular school, if the school has a strong reputation, you can still poke around on their site and see what they’re offering. This may trigger some ideas for what questions to ask and how to evaluate the options you’re considering.

Network with other parents.

As always, it helps to talk with other parents in and outside your network about a new school you’re considering.

I’ve found that I can get more information over a cup of coffee than anywhere else.

In each conversation, I make sure to ask these five key questions:

  1. Why did your family choose this school?
  2. What keeps your family at this school?
  3. How would you describe the parent community at this school?
  4. What’s been your involvement at this school?
  5. What do you wish you had known before your teen enrolled?

(If there’s any juicy gossip, I want to hear that too, although I may not ask directly!)

In fact, even when my children changed to a new grade, I would talk with parents in the next grade level to get a sense of their experience. Often, the next grade/teacher can be a whole new experience and adjustment.

Consider social dynamics.

Another factor to consider when you’re choosing the right high school for your child is the social dynamics at a given school.

As my children entered high school, it was more difficult to consider changing schools because of all the social dynamics that play an even bigger role in their experience. That’s why this step deserves special attention.

I’ll admit that I was particularly concerned about the social aspects of high school for my daughter. (Every mom of a daughter can probably identify with this.)

The teen years can be particularly challenging for girls, and moms must be sensitive to the social environment of high school, which can influence their identity formation and self-confidence.

If you follow these four steps, they will help you choose the right high school for your child, to set them up for future success along with a better experience in the meantime.

If you’ve researched a new school for your child, what was your approach? Which resources did you use? Please leave a comment and share with other parent readers.

If you’re interested in one-on-one support and other resources to help you or your child get into (or pay) for college, click here.

If you’d like to learn more about preparing middle school students for college, you’ll want to have a look at these articles too:

7 Ways to Support Your Child During the College Application Process
College Scholarships for Middle School Students
Preparing for College in the Ninth Grade

 

This article was originally published on April 17, 2018, and has been updated.

How to get School Records Organized in 2 easy steps

parents of middle schoolers school records

For parents of middle-schoolers, midway through the academic year is a good time to set up your organization system for school records.

All of my new client meetings begin with a review of school records, like their transcripts, teacher comments and achievement tests. I realize that it’s no small task to keep track of numerous odd-sized bits of paper, sometimes carbon-copied with faded dates and scores. And what do you do with those colorful guides with rows of achievement scores and percentile rankings?

As a mom of 3, I understand how overwhelming it can be to keep track of all the information that comes home from school. When you combine the physical documents with email notifications, it gets even messier . . .

1. Set up filing system first

Using the term “filing system” may sound a bit intimidating. However, once you set it up, it will be easy to maintain. You can begin your child’s academic file with a manila folder labeled with their name.

What to Keep in Manila Folder

Your child’s academic folder at home should hold:

  • all classroom-based assessment reports for each testing year
  • standardized test reports, such as EXPLORE, PSAT, SAT
  • letters on district scoring
  • copies of individual education plans (IEPs)
  • records on gifted and talent qualifications
  • copy of most recent forms submitted at the beginning of the school year
  • grade reports with teacher comments
  • any other email communications related to assessments
  • profiles/inventories conducted at school

In short this folder should, at a minimum, include a copy of any records/reports that your school has on file about your child. Keeping track of these documents will facilitate parent-teacher conferences and help you with understanding how you can best support their academic success.

2. Organize personal projects in a Binder

Separately, you can prepare a thick, 3-ring binder labeled with their name, school year, and grade level.

This binder can be used to hold assignments and writings that your child produced during the school year. I’m not suggesting that you have to keep every scrap of paper that they colored. I do recommend that you keep any journal entries and assignments that demonstrate their creative thinking/problem solving skills development.

These are helpful for reviewing your child’s progress over the academic year and again being able to support them in areas where they may need more assistance. Likewise, these organized assignments can be used to encourage and congratulate your child on all their efforts during that grade year. You will also be surprised how much children enjoy looking through these past assignments and marveling at their development.

Your child may accumulate a lot of paper during the year. I collect their assignments regularly in a hanging file folder then put in the binder as I make time. (There’s no such thing as “having” time for this, so you’ll have to “make” the time.) Be careful not to wait too long before placing in the binder, because otherwise it will seem too overwhelming to even bother.

Why these steps will pay off in high school

I strongly encourage middle school parents to get these school records in order because in the high school years you should transfer these files to your teen!

Yes . . . I said it . . . Your teen owns their high school experience.

Throughout high school, the key attribute that your teen should develop is self-advocacy. If the parent holds all of their documents, then whenever a teen needs to answer for him/herself or request help, it will be filtered through their parents. Likewise, if your teen is college-bound, they own the college admissions process. Do you really want your teen to ask you for their PSAT score?

If you relocate, keeping these school records organized will save you a lot of time and stress with transitioning to a new school. When you’re considering any enrichment opportunities for your child, having these records on hand can save you time in knowing whether your child qualifies for consideration. The same is true for college planning, which always comes sooner than you think. In each of these cases, you will be asked to show academic records and it’s too easy to miss deadlines if you have to gather too much background information.

How are you organizing your child’s school records? Do you have an attic full of loose papers or a file cabinet of labeled folders and binders for each child? Please share any tips you have for staying organized with academic records.

7 quick tips for busy middle school parents

Middle school

The middle school years can be confusing for teens, as well as for parents! Middle schoolers want more independence from parents, yet they need even more support to navigate all the physical, cognitive, and social changes of adolescence. How do parents balance giving them autonomy and support (without embarrassing them)? Parents with middle-schoolers often feel “left in the balance” as their role and relationship with their teen is evolving.

There’s plenty of parent involvement in elementary years but a lot less in middle and high school years. However, research has shown that when the parents are engaged, kids are more likely to achieve in school, even when they’re older! What I’ve seen with many parents is that they continue to “manage” their kids live at home, but lessen their involvement at school once their teen is in middle school.

Here are my 7 tips for busy parents of middle schoolers to stay involved in the school and learning experience:

1. Get to know teachers

In the first weeks of school, meet the teacher and find out their expectations for success, exchange email addresses, and stay in touch regularly.

2. Meet other parents

Getting to know other parents can be especially helpful if you’re unable to attend all school events regularly. I suggest meeting other parents through any opportunity other than chaperoning a school dance! (Been there, done that and won’t do it again.)

3. Bookmark school website

Checking the school website regularly can keep you abreast of homework assignments, test schedules, and school-wide events.

4. Help with homework but do NOT do it

Checking a math problem, proofreading a paper, asking questions to help your teen figure out the answer are forms of helping. Once the parent puts pen to paper or gives the answer . . . they’re doing.

5. Monitor screen time

Even when it’s hard to say “no”, it’s so important for teens to have boundaries when it comes to social media/phone/internet/video game time. Consider setting a family policy on-screen time at the beginning of the school year and stick with it!

6. Post a family calendar

Help your middle-schooler develop time-management skills by writing important school dates, family travel, project deadlines, parent night outs, etc. for all family members in one place.

7. Make family time/meals at home a priority

Did you know that regular mealtime at home is the greatest predictor of high achievement? What happens at home greatly impacts what happens in the classroom!

These tips have worked for me to stay engaged with three teenagers while working and staying active in my community. I’d love to know what tips have worked for you as a busy middle school parent. Please tell me in the comments below.

“Help! My teen texts way too much”: What parents can do

compass college advisory

Most parents are not pleased with their teen’s overuse of the cell phone. It can be hard to have a decent conversation with a teen when they’re staring at their phone. Just recently, I was meeting with a family for the first time and the son started texting in the middle of the conversation. I paused for a moment and said, “Please put your phone away. . .this meeting is really for YOU.”

If teens don’t have any boundaries when it comes to texting or other screen time, they will use it with little regard to anyone else around them. I didn’t take it personally, although I found his using the phone during our conversation quite disrespectful.teens text alot

What is Screen time?

When I speak with parents about “screen time” use, they often think of cell phones only. However, I include television, computers/internet and game consoles, as well. How students use or misuse the internet is particularly important for college-bound teens as more colleges gain access to an applicant’s social media footprint.

There’s nothing inherently bad with technology. When the use of technology disrupts normal everyday activities, however, that’s when it becomes overuse/abuse. A “normal everyday activity” may be having a conversation with family members, driving safely and responsibly, or socializing with friends.

If your teen’s screen time use interferes with family time, I would suggest that parents immediately set boundaries for use. (Of course, it’s much easier to set those boundaries before high school.) One way to set these boundaries may be in the form of family policy on screen time use.

Your family policy for screen time use can be as restrictive or flexible as needed. It can even extend to screen time use outside the home if that’s a problem area for your teen. For example, during a recent business trip, I went to dinner with a family that I’ve known for many years. Their teen daughter was on her phone throughout the meal, except to eat quickly. I wanted her to feel included but it felt like we were disturbing her.

I talk with hundreds of parents each year and only a small fraction are actually OK with their teen’s screen time use. Are you OK with your teen’s screen time use? If yes, please share what works for your family. If your teen’s screen time use is not OK, what are you doing about it?

5 tips for cleaning your Facebook profile for college-bound teens

compass college advisory

More colleges are checking applicants’ social media profiles as a way to learn more about what kind of person you are. All students who plan to apply to college in the upcoming years should assume that their Facebook and/or Twitter profiles will be reviewed. Social media profiles are archived so please don’t assume that it’s too soon to get started on managing your online profiles.

socialnetwork website
This scene from the movie, Social Network, is hilarious!

Here are 5 quick tips for cleaning your profiles:

1. Google yourself! Whatever information is discovered about you shouldn’t be a surprise.

2. Monitor your account regularly to maintain appropriate postings from yourself and friends.

3. Monitor what your friends are posting on their own pages to make sure that they’re not posting inappropriate words or videos (this can be especially tricky if you’re “liking” or sharing any inappropriate posts from friends).

4. Adjust your privacy settings to restrict others from seeing your posts.

5. Review older (archived) posts as well to clean those, if necessary.

Students and/or parents should monitor these profiles on a regular basis, i.e. every week or two. Given the increased viewing of social media profiles by colleges, college-bound students must beware. A good rule of thumb . . . if you wouldn’t want your grandparent to see your post, then don’t post it.